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I was completely
unaware of flying cats because, like most cat parents in Japan,
it wasn't planned. Instead, it's usually the result of doing something
completely ordinary, such as walking around the neighborhood, when
suddenly a stray kitten appears "out of nowhere." I happened
to be jogging with my husband the other day when suddenly, out of
nowhere, appeared a 6-week-old ball of white fluff. With blue eyes.
My husband
gave me a doubtful look. It was the same look he gave me two sofas
and a stereo system ago, which translated means: if we take this
home, does this mean we're committing ourselves to another 5 years
in Japan?
That question
unanswered (again), we proceeded to do what all new cat owners do:
think of the stupidest name possible for our cat. We named her Frank.
That's Frank as in "ole blue eyes," Frank Sinatra. The
first thing we're going to teach her is how to sing.
But it's hard
to teach Frank how to sing when she is more interested in flying
across the room (clunk!). I find this obsession of hers slightly
masochistic. So, I called the Flying Cats Helpline, run by my friend
Haynes who is a former cat owner. She said, "Don't worry. When
the cat gets older, she'll only fly across the room once a week
for about twenty minutes." So I guess there is no hope of Frank
completely ceasing this activity. (Clunk!)
Although flying
across the room appears to be Frank's favorite activity, it's not.
Living is Frank's favorite activity. She celebrates the joys of
cat life in many favorite ways. For example, she likes to play on
the beach. Since she is adamant about being an indoor cat now, she
substitutes the beach with her litter box which is filled with beach
sand. When she has rolled around enough that she's completely covered
with sand, she walks into the living room and resumes flying across
the room (clunk!).
Another one
of Frank's favorite activities is aikido. She uses aikido to fight
demons. It's hard to tell exactly what these demons look like since
they are apparently invisible to humans. But Frank can obviously
see them and she fearlessly attacks the demons and outwits them
with skillful throws, holds and locks. She never loses. Frank the
heroine.
Frank occasionally
becomes a sumo cat. This happens right after she has eaten and has
the most energy. Her stomach is still large and round making her
look twice as big as normal. When Frank plays sumo, she obviously
changes the rules to her advantage. After the ceremonial stomping
and some preliminary snatches and grabs, almost anything goes. Rolling
around on the back is definitely permissible and invisible opponents
are preferred. Frank is a constant heroine.
Mid-day, Frank
becomes Empress of Japan. She has already staked out her favorite
chair and claimed it her throne. This is where she also takes a
mid-day nap. At least it looks likes she's napping. If you look
closely you'll see that she's not really sleeping, she's taking
part in another one of the joys of cat life: shedding. This is a
tactic used to make sure no one else sits there.
Finding myself
the parent of such a talented cat, you can imagine how anxious I
am to start Frank with her singing lessons. I've already reserved
a Hello Kitty karaoke box. I'm sure she'll be pleased to celebrate
another one of the joys of life in Japan.
I like being
a cat parent. There's nothing like a cat to brighten up your life.
(Clunk!). Oh, here's Frank now. What is it Frank? What do you mean
you want me to cancel the reservation for the Hello Kitty karaoke
box. Why?
Frank: "I'll
do it myyyyyy waaaaay."
I don't doubt
her either. She's got a kendo stick in her hand.
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